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Before you call the wedding planner – Funke Egbemode

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Marriage is becoming a risky business by the hour. Instead of enlarging the family, it is reducing it. When your son or daughter marries, you expect grandchildren as dividends. Now, your initial investment gets liquidated in a pool of blood, without recourse to you. One infuriated sick and weak girl just grabs a kitchen knife and carves up your son in a flash, ripping out your heart and dreams of being surrounded by happiness in your old age. One silly boy in a moment of uncontrollable blinding fury stabs your daughter in the throat, leaving you reeling in that kind of pain no parent can recover from. Wives killing their husbands. Husbands killing their wives. How did our innocent babies become murderers? How did we miss it? What did we do wrong, or failed to do that is filling our doorsteps with shoes of mourners and our once happy homes with wailings and gnashing of teeth? Did the Bible not promise that our children will surround our tables and that we will not cast our young? So, what is going on? It is bad enough that more and more young marriages are failing. It is already a sad testimony that more women are becoming breadwinners and telling our sons when to snore in their own beds. But this added blood and gore and loss and unending pain… Or are you not worried?

Sure, the latest tragedies happened far from you but they are really closer than you think. If you still think these recent spousal murders do not really concern you, take a look at your daughter, your son and tell yourself you can vouch for the spouses they will end up with. And if your children are already in their 20s and of marriage age, swear you are not a teensy bit concerned about the suitors milling around them. That fine-boy-no-pimples full of smiles and politeness, does he have anger issues? Is he a keeper, a reaper or a taker? That babe who is already calling your son ‘Ayo mi’ (my joy) or ‘honey’, can you trust her with your greatest treasure, your brilliant caring son?

There is no retirement age for parents. We are parents for life. Our job is cut out for us and we must do it with all our heart and might. There is really no short cut. This is our calling until we are called home by He who chose us for this assignment as daddies and mummies. Of course, the temptation to hand over our daughters and our parenting jobs over to our in-laws the day we give them out in marriage will always be there. But it is a temptation we must resist as soon as the effects of red wine champagne wears off. Yeah. Wine-carrying, celebrated destination wedding ceremonies with the captains of industry and 10 governors in attendance is what it is, just another party. The marriage itself begins the following day. And let’s not forget that the young bride and groom had lived a protected life up until their wedding day. They were chauffeured to primary and secondary schools, assisted in picking their universities. Their NYSC postings were arranged by daddy. Their first jobs too via daddy’s connections. This is the first time they would be taking huge steps on their own. They probably will still be using daddy’s mechanic and mummy’s travel agent and caterer. Don’t bother denying it. We are all guilty of over-parenting. We all look forward so much to the days our children will get married that we forget there are things we must do, that is, beyond the small chops and assorted meals from here to China.

Raise your hand if you did a proper background check on your son’s wife before the wedding. Seriously? Yeah.

Let me stress this point then. You must investigate your daughter’s suitor, your son’s intended. Don’t be overly excited by the diamond ring he gave her or the rich family she comes from. You must do your research. You must ensure you are not handing over your treasure to a pig who’ll go play in the mud with it. Most parents hardly ever do that background check before calling the wedding planner. Is he abusive? Does she throw flower vases at television sets? Does his father beat his mother? Is her mother cantankerous? Before you fix the wedding date, make sure you are not funding a ceremony that will put your child in an early grave. That is the pre-wedding warning.

However, marriage is the critical point. While I think it is a sin to meddle in your children’s marriage, I also think it is a crime to push our children into the deep end of the pool without providing life jackets. Parents should let new couples totter, falter, fall even but be there to help them back on their feet. Watch from a distance but watch you must, keenly, discreetly, wisely. The fear of failure and what the society would say make a lot of new couples die in silence. Without being intrusive, nudge your daughter or daughter-in-law to speak freely. Call her to accompany you to a party you don’t want to attend alone. Start a topic that will help her open up. It could be a new television series, a movie with a relationship or marriage theme. And being a busy politician or high flying executive is not an excuse. I open such topics with my girls while they are helping me pick an evening dress, do my make-up or while we are watching a movie that I had picked for that purpose. I have also had such intimate talks with my son as he drove us to church.

Fathers, let your son-in-law accompany you to events, golf course, church, mosque. What’s wrong with an occasional barber-date together? Get your grooming Saturday in sync. It helps you see through what they may be trying to hide without asking probing questions. You have gained an extra child and that should be an advantage.

Stop by unannounced occasionally too and make such visits brief, very brief. Take along gifts. Those unannounced visits help you to catch them without rehearsed speeches. Hug the wife, she will wince or grunt if she has been kicked or punched. Does she have puffy eyes, discoloured cheeks or walking with a limp? If every time you go there, there is always a story why a piece of furniture is broken or cracked, one of them may be violent, hurling coffee mugs at the television or kicking flower vases.

And if you discover that one of them is abusive, don’t expect them to sort it out on their own or with their pastor. An abusive wife or husband is a sick person. He needs help. She needs to see the appropriate doctor, it is an emergency. If the abusive partner refuses to get help, retrieve the one that belongs to you to safety. My mother used to counsel that a safe small corner on earth is better than a big space in the grave. You cannot fold your arms and hope she will stop slapping your son while she graduates to stabbing him. If he has pushed her down the staircase once and you leave her there, who will you blame when your church elders arrive with sober faces to break the news of your daughter?

Of course I know my pastor, and many other pastors reading this, will object to my ‘retrieve-your-child’ solution but I prefer my pastor chides me to him telling me ‘it is well’ later. God forbid. If a sick spouse gets help, the marriage can get back on track and everybody gets a chance to live happily ever after. And read the Bible too.

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EFCC Bursts Syndicate of 792 Cryptocurrency Investment, Romance Fraud Suspects in Lagos … Arrests 193 Chinese, Arabs, Filipinos, Others

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The Executive Chairman  of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, Ola Olukoyede, has  disclosed that the Commission, in a landmark raid,  arrested 792 suspects  for their alleged involvement in cryptocurrency investment fraud and romance scam.

The  suspects were apprehended on Tuesday, December 10, 2024, in a surprise operation at their hideout, an imposing seven-storey edifice known as Big Leaf Building, on No.7, Oyin Jolayemi Street, Victoria Island, Lagos , following verifiable intelligence received by the Commission.

Speaking during a media briefing on Monday, December 16, 2024,   at the Lagos  Zonal Directorate of the Commission, Olukoyede stated that  148 Chinese, 40 Filipinos, two Kharzartans, one Pakistani, one Indonesian were arrested during the operation.

The EFCC’s boss,  who spoke though the Director, Public Affairs, EFCC, Commander of the EFCC,  CEWilson Uwujaren, further stated that the  foreign nationals used the facility, which could be mistaken for a corporate headquarters of a financial establishment, to train their Nigerian accomplices on how to initiate romance and investment scams and also used the identities of their Nigerian accomplices to perpetrate their criminal activities.

According to him, “All the floors are equipped with high-end desktop computers. On the 5th floor alone, investigators recovered 500 SIM cards of local telcos that were bought for criminal purposes.

“ Their Nigerian accomplices were recruited by the foreign kingpins to prospect for victims online through phishing, targeting mostly Americans, Canadians, Mexicans, and several others from European countries.

“They usually arm them with desktop computers and mobile devices and create fake profiles for them.

“The Nigerian accomplices are equally provided with logs that allow them access to foreign communication lines and victims, which they chat with on WhatsApp, Instagram and Telegram.”

While giving  further details about the modus operandi of the syndicate, the EFCC Chair said the Nigerian accomplices, who are assigned WhatsApp accounts linked to foreign telephone numbers, especially from Germany and Italy, engage victims in romantic conversations as well as phantom business and investment discussions to trick them to shop on the purported online investment shopping platform called www.yooto.com.

He added: “For those who show interest, activation fees for an account on the platform starts from $35USD.

“Investigation revealed that the criterion for recruiting these young Nigerians is proficiency in the use of computers, especially typing skill. Those who passed the test are given desktop computers and mobile devices and then taken through a two-week induction on how to personate foreign females in romance scam chats and convince victims to invest in their employers’ cryptocurrency investment scam.

“Once the Nigerians are able to win the confidence of would-be victims, the foreigners would take over the actual task of defrauding the victims and proceed to block their Nigerian accomplices from the network. This would then leave them in the dark about the transaction.”

He, however, said the Nigerians involved in the alleged fraudulent activities “do not know the owners of the ‘company’ they work for because they are not offered letters of appointments or receive payment from a corporate account.”

According to him, the  suspected Nigerian accomplices are usually paid either in cash or through an individual’s account.

Olukoyede said the Commission was working with its foregoing partners to establish the extent of the scam and the accomplices as well as the likelihood of any collaboration with organized international fraud cells.

The EFCC Chair also used the occasion to debunk the notion that Nigerians are behind the tonnes of frauds emanating from the country.

“Foreigners are taking advantage of our nation’s unfortunate reputation as a haven of frauds to establish a foothold here to disguise their atrocious criminal enterprises. But, as this operation has shown, there will be no hiding places for criminals in Nigeria,”he said.

Also speaking during the occasion , the acting Zonal Director, Lagos Zonal Directorate of the Commission, Michael Wetkas, sought greater collaboration with the media in the fight against  corruption and economic and financial crimes.

Items recovered from the suspects include desktop computers, mobile phones, laptop computers and cars at the point of arrest.

The suspects will be charged to court after investigations are concluded.

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Kogi Governor Ododo Allegedly Spends N400million To Build ‘Intruders Gate’, Another N439million To Produce Staff Of Office For Chiefs

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About N400million was spent by the Governor Usman Ododo’s administration in Kogi State for the construction of what was tagged “Intruders gate”, a copy of the 2024 state budget performance report obtained by SaharaReporters has revealed.

An intruders gate, also known as a security gate or anti-climb gate, is a type of gate designed to prevent unauthorised access to a property, building, or restricted area.

The primary purpose of such gate is to provide an additional layer of security and protection against potential intruders.

The budget document seen by SaharaReporters showed that the Governor Ododo-led government had in the last 9 months spent N398,817,976.33 on “intruders gate instead of the N100,00,000 appropriated and approved in the 2024 budget by the Kogi State House of Assembly.

This suggested that N298,817,976.33 was allegedly illegally spent above the budget ceiling on such gate.

However, where the gate was mounted by the government wasn’t disclosed in the document.

A further check on the report revealed that N439,500,000.00 has so far been spent in 2024 for the “production of customised staff of office for graded chiefs” in the state.

These spendings are coming at a time when residents of the state like other Nigerians are going through a spike in cost of living, hardship and hunger.

Earlier, SaharaReporters reported how the Ododo-led government spent N2.9billion for the Government House minor capital works and remodelling government house between January and September 2024.

The review showed that while the state budgeted N100 million for government house minor capital works, it has ended up spending N784 million within nine months.

Also while the government budgeted N962million for remodeling government house structure, it has spent N2.2 billion within nine months.

The review further showed that based on the details published by the state government, it has continued to overshoot budgetary allocations.

For instance, N50million was budgeted for renovation of Speakers’, honourable members residential quarters, within nine months however N58.7 million was spent.

Renovation of honourable speaker and deputy speakers lodge stood at a budgeted amount of N50 million , however N52 million was spent within nine months.

Maintenance of the Secretary to the State Government’s official residence and landscaping stood at a budget of N10million, however within nine months N13.8million was spent.

Construction of Mosque and Chapel in the government house was budgeted at N25 million, however the state spent N86.4 million within nine months.

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Audit report reveals CBN’s non-disclosure of $40.23bn in reserves, policy violations under Emefiele’s tenure

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The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) failed to disclose details of the nation’s external reserves, valued at $40.23 billion, in its 2021 financial year report, as stated in the latest findings from the Office of the Auditor General of the Federation.

The 2021 audit report, released in December 2024, further exposed violations of internal policies on dollar time deposits by the CBN under the leadership of Godwin Emefiele.

Emefiele, whose tenure as CBN governor ended in June 2023, is currently facing charges by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) at the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.

The EFCC accuses him of obtaining $6.2 million under false pretenses, using a forged letter purportedly from the Secretary to the Government of the Federation dated January 26, 2023.

The letter allegedly requested a contingent logistics advance from the CBN, which Emefiele falsely claimed was authorized by the president.

The audit also scrutinized the CBN’s adherence to its revised Investment Policy, raising additional concerns about financial management during the period under review.

“For the year 2021 financial year, the Bank failed to publish the position amounting to US$40,230,803,228.80 of the country’s external reserves to the public,” the report stated.

The report further noted that there was no waiver or new policy introduced during the period that could explain the non-disclosure of the external reserves.

It attributed the failure to weaknesses in the internal control systems at the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).

The report also pointed out that this lack of transparency violated Article 15(v) of the CBN’s revised Investment Policy, which mandates the Bank to define the content, form, and frequency of reports on external reserves to ensure transparency.

The Auditor General expressed concerns about the significant risks associated with this breach, including a lack of accountability, diminished transparency, and potential harm to Nigeria’s economic credibility.

The report cautioned that foreign investors are not sufficiently informed about the country’s economic status, which could undermine investor confidence.

In response to the audit query, the management of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) stated that “information on the external reserves position is available to members of the public on the Bank’s website under the Reserve Management tab.”

The report also mentioned that the Central Bank’s Monetary Policy Committee (MPC), which convenes every two months, provides updates on the reserves.

However, the Auditor General’s assessment concluded that the bank’s response did not effectively address the fundamental issue at hand.

“The response from the Management failed to address the issue raised,” the report said, maintaining that its findings remain valid.

The Auditor General’s report recommended that the CBN governor be summoned before the National Assembly’s Public Accounts Committees to explain the failure to publish the reserves.

It also called for potential sanctions under the Financial Regulations Act of 2009, citing serious misconduct.

Additionally, the report suggested that “sanctions relating to gross misconduct prescribed in paragraph 3129 of the Financial Regulations 2009, should apply.”

The audit also uncovered a violation of the Central Bank of Nigeria’s (CBN) Money Market Policy, in addition to the non-publication of reserves figures. It revealed that a $26.05 million dollar time deposit exceeded the mandated maximum maturity period of three months, rolling over for five months without the required waivers.

This deposit, made on October 21, 2021, matured on March 21, 2022, in direct contravention of internal policies designed to manage liquidity and credit risks.

The Auditor-General attributed this breach to weaknesses in the CBN’s internal control systems.

In its defense, the central bank argued that its policies allow for extensions of up to one year for specific transactions, asserting that the dollar deposit was in compliance with these provisions.

However, the Auditor-General rejected this explanation, pointing to insufficient evidence to support the bank’s claims.

The report recommended that the CBN governor appear before the Public Accounts Committees of the National Assembly to justify both the failure to publish reserves and the extension of the dollar deposit’s maturity.

Additionally, it called for sanctions against the CBN under the Financial Regulations Act of 2009 for gross misconduct.

“The CBN Governor should be requested to: Furnish the Public Accounts Committees of the National Assembly with the evidence of approval to extend the maximum maturity period of US$26,051,039.29 deposit of the CBN for five months instead of three months, and Otherwise, sanctions relating to gross misconduct prescribed in paragraph 3129 of the Financial Regulations 2009, should apply,” it said.

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