Connect with us

Society

Chronicles Of Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

Published

on

Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

 

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.

 

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and surrogate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

 

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowning glory of any respectable Nigerian family.

 

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

 

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

 

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

 

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

 

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.

 

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

 

By: Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

Society

Oando Boss, Wale Tinubu Receives Award as Best Investor of the Year

Published

on

By

 

Jubril Adewale Tinubu, oil tycoon and GCE of leading oil and gas firm, OANDO, yesterday shone brilliantly like a well-cut diamond when he received the award for the New Telegraph Investor/Transaction of the Year 2024.

 

The oil guru with three decades of expectational performance in the oil sector was among other prominent Nigerians that went home with honours at the Oriental Hotels, venue of the ceremony.

 

The award, described as well- deserved, was presented to Tinubu for leading his team to successfully completing the acquisition of Agip Oil Company at $783 million.

 

The transaction, which was completed in August 2024, was described my many as a remarkable one the nation’s economy.

 

Tinubu is an intelligent, pragmatic and a genius who strikes when the iron is hottest.

 

Gifted with a knack to spot opportunity ahead of the crowd, Tinubu has in the last 30 years of unbroken entrepreneurial voyage positioned Oando among the best oil and gas company in the world.

He believes Nigeria offers limitless possibilities and opportunities, and holds high, at all times, the banner of hope.

 

Today, the business has not only earned him fame and wealth, but has also contributed in great measures to the economic development of Africa and beyond.

 

Other awardees on the night include Governor Babagana Zulum of Borno State won the Governor of the Year 2024; Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu of Lagos State received the Governor of the Year in Projects, while Governor Ahmed Aliyu of Sokoto State won Governor of the Year in Economy

 

 

Others are Governor Sheriff Oborevwori of Delta State; Osun State Governor, Senator Ademola Adeleke; Ekiti State Governor, Biodun Oyebanji; Group Chief Executive Officer of the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation Limited (NNPCL), Mr Mele Kyari, won the newspaper’s prestigious Man of the Year 2024, while the Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development, Barrister Festus Keyamo (SAN), won Minister of the Year 2024 in Transformative Leadership.

Continue Reading

Society

The weaponization of justice and the injustice faced by Dan Etete – Jeremiah Perekeme 0woupele

Published

on

By

 

In the intricate corridors of global jurisprudence, the scales of justice often tip under the weight of political machinations and economic interests. The case of Dan Etete, Nigeria’s former Minister of Petroleum, epitomizes how legal systems can be manipulated, leading to profound personal and national injustices.

Dan Etete, appointed as Nigeria’s Minister of Petroleum Resources in 1995, played a pivotal role in introducing the marginal oil field regime and indigenous participation in Nigeria’s oil and gas industry. His contributions have however been beclouded by the controversy around the controversial OPL 245. This oil block, one of Africa’s richest, became the focus of a protracted legal battle involving major oil companies amid allegations of corruption. Etete’s involvement led to accusations that have marred his reputation and overshadowed his contributions to Nigeria’s oil sector.

In a landmark decision, an Italian court acquitted Eni, Shell, and associated individuals, including Etete, of corruption charges related to OPL 245. The court concluded that there was no case to answer, highlighting the absence of sufficient evidence to substantiate the allegations. This verdict underscores the complexities inherent in international legal proceedings, where accusations often outpace the evidence required for conviction.

Etete’s ordeal is not isolated. Globally, individuals have faced similar legal battles, where accusations are levied, with years spent in court, only to culminate in acquittals. These cases highlight systemic issues within legal frameworks that allow for the weaponization of justice, often driven by political or economic motivations.

The protracted legal saga of Amanda Knox serves as a poignant illustration of Italy’s judicial labyrinth. Knox, an American student, was accused of the 2007 murder of Meredith Kercher in Perugia. After initial convictions and subsequent acquittals, she was finally exonerated by Italy’s Supreme Court in 2015.

The case highlighted significant issues within the Italian legal system. Issues were raised around the handling of forensic evidence, media interference, and prosecutorial conduct. It also underscored the challenges of ensuring justice in a system where legal procedures can be as complex as the crimes themselves.

In the UK, the case of the Birmingham Six remains a stark reminder of the fallibility of justice systems. Six Irish men were wrongfully convicted in 1975 for pub bombings in Birmingham, based on coerced confessions and questionable forensic evidence. After 16 years of imprisonment, their convictions were quashed in 1991, revealing systemic flaws such as investigative misconduct and the suppression of evidence. This case prompted significant reforms in the UK’s criminal justice system, emphasizing the need for checks and balances to prevent miscarriages of justice.

The term “weaponization of justice” refers to the deliberate manipulation of legal systems to achieve objectives beyond the pursuit of truth and fairness. The weaponization of legal technicalities, whether through coerced confessions, mishandled evidence, or political interference, undermines the foundational principles of justice.

In Dan Etete’s case, the prolonged legal battles, despite eventual acquittal, suggest a misuse of judicial processes, leading to reputational damage. Despite his achievements that merit recognition, and most notably his discharge and acquittal in three jurisdictions – ITALY, UNITED KINGDOM, and Nigeria; he has remained the focal point of smear campaigns.

What does his discharge and acquittal really mean? It means that Dan Etete has been formally cleared of charges in a court of law. This means the court has found him not guilty of the charges brought against him. An acquittal signifies that there was insufficient evidence to prove the person committed the alleged offence, or was proven innocent. This means the accused is released from the legal process and is free to go. If he has been found to have done nothing wrong by the Nigerian Legal system, where the judiciary has come under scrutiny in recent times, is it being insinuated that the course of justice was perverted in those other jurisdictions?

In reflecting upon the Chief Dan Etete cases, it becomes evident that the pursuit of justice requires constant vigilance, systemic introspection, and unwavering commitment to fairness. Just as poverty can be weaponized to perpetuate societal inequities, legal ambiguities when exploited, lead to miscarriages of justice.

Moreover, they erode public trust in legal institutions, deter individuals from public service, and can have economic repercussions, especially in sectors as vital as oil and gas. Furthermore, they highlight the need for reforms to prevent the misuse of legal systems and to ensure that justice is truly blind.

Politically Exposed Persons (PEPs) often find themselves under intense scrutiny due to their influential positions, making them susceptible to allegations of corruption. In several instances, PEPs have been wrongfully accused and, despite subsequent exoneration, have suffered significant reputational damage due to smear campaigns. Here are five notable cases from different countries:

Former President John Dramani Mahama was implicated in a bribery scandal involving Airbus SE, with allegations suggesting his involvement through his brother, Samuel Adam Mahama. These claims, lacking substantial evidence, were perceived as politically motivated to tarnish Mahama’s reputation and divert attention from governmental shortcomings. The Office of the Special Prosecutor (OSP) eventually exonerated Mahama, but the smear campaign had already inflicted damage on his public image.

Adolphus Wabara, former President of the Nigerian Senate, faced allegations in 2005 of accepting a ₦55 million bribe to influence budget approvals. Despite his resignation and a prolonged 14-year legal battle, Wabara was acquitted in 2019 due to insufficient evidence.

Frederick Chiluba, Zambia’s second President, faced allegations of embezzling public funds after his tenure ended in 2002. Following a protracted legal process, Chiluba was acquitted of all charges in 2009. The court determined that the prosecution failed to provide compelling evidence linking him to the alleged crimes. This verdict underscored the challenges in distinguishing between political vendettas and genuine anti-corruption efforts.

Georgia Thompson, a Wisconsin state employee, was convicted in 2006 on federal corruption charges, accused of steering a state contract for political reasons. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit overturned her conviction in 2007, citing a lack of evidence.

Former Prime Minister Khaleda Zia was accused of misusing funds related to the Zia Charitable Trust, leading to her conviction and imprisonment in 2018. In November 2024, the Supreme Court of Bangladesh acquitted Zia and all co-accused, citing a lack of credible evidence.

Nabil Sayadi, director of the European branch of the Global Relief Foundation, was accused of transferring funds to an Al-Qaeda financier, leading to his inclusion on international watch-lists and the freezing of his assets. In 2006, Belgian judges exonerated Sayadi, citing a lack of evidence linking him to terrorist activities.

These cases highlight the profound impact that unfounded corruption allegations and smear campaigns can have on PEPs, often resulting in lasting reputational harm even after legal exoneration.While many accusations are substantiated, there are notable instances where PEPs have been wrongfully accused and subsequently exonerated by the legal system.

Chief Dan Etete’s experience, like the ones already referenced, serves as a stark reminder of the potential for justice systems to be weaponized. It calls for introspection and reform to safeguard the principles of fairness and equity, ensuring that individuals are protected from undue legal persecutions driven by interests that have little to do with justice. This underscores the necessity for robust legal frameworks that ensure due process, protect individuals from politically motivated accusations, and uphold the integrity of judicial systems worldwide.

*** Jeremiah Perekeme Owoupele is a Niger Delta based lawyer.

Continue Reading

Society

Portable now in our custody – Ogun Police

Published

on

By

 

The Ogun State Police Command says Habeeb Okikiola, aka Portable, is now in its custody.

 

Omolola Odutola, the state public relations officer made the disclosure in a statement on Wednesday.

 

According to her, “The Ogun State Police Command wishes to inform the public that Habeeb Okikiola, also known as Portable, arrived at the State Criminal Investigation Department, Eleweran, Abeokuta, at exactly 13:23 hours today, February 19, 2025.

 

 

“His presence at the SCID is connected to an ongoing investigation. The command assures the public that due process will be followed in handling this matter, and updates will be provided as necessary.”

 

Portable was declared wanted for assault on some officials of the Ogun State Town Planning Agency who were carrying out enforcement on his property in the Ilogbo area of the state.

 

Details later…

Continue Reading

Trending