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Chronicles Of Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

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Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

 

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.

 

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and surrogate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

 

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowning glory of any respectable Nigerian family.

 

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

 

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

 

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

 

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

 

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.

 

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

 

By: Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

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Former banker, Femi Olushakin, others arraigned for alleged armed robbery

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A former banker turned businessman, Olufemi Olalekan Olushakin alongside two others on Thursday were arraigned before the Chief Magistrate’s Court in Ibadan, Oyo State for alleged robbery.

 

Olushakin —now at large— and the two suspects — Ayomide Akanbi and David Adewale— were alleged to have conspired to commit felony to-wit armed robbery and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 6 (B) of the Robbery and Firearms (Special Provision) Act Cap RII Vol. 14 Laws of the Federal Republic of Nigeria 2004.

 

In the case with Charge number: MI/1672C (Commissioner of Police, Oyo State Vs. Ayomide Akanbi, M, 32 and David Adewole, M, 47): “Count 1: That you (1) Ayomide Akanbi ‘M’ (2) David Adewole ‘M’ and one Olusakin Olufemi Olalekan ‘M’ now at large on 13th December, 2024 at about 5:00pm at Global Signature Hotel, New Gbagi Road, Ibadan in the Ibadan Magisterial District did conspire together to commit felony to-wit Armed Robbery and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under section 6 (B) of the Robbery and Firearms (Special Provision) Act Cap R II Vol. 14 Laws of the Federal Republic of Nigeria 2004.

 

“Count 11: That you (1) Ayomide Akanbi ‘M’ (2) David Adewole ‘M’ and one Olusakin Olufemi Olalekan ‘M’ now at large on the same date, time and place in the above Magisterial District while armed yourselves with guns and some other dangerous weapons did attack one Akinola Dare ‘M’ and also dispossessed him of cash sum of Two Million, One Hundred and Forty Thousand Naira (N2,140,000.00) only, property of Global Signature Hotel Limited and thereby committed an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 1 (2) of the Robbery and Firearms (Special Provision) Act Cap R II Vol. 14 laws of the Federal Republic of Nigeria 2004.”

 

The Police Prosecutor, Inspector Kefas Usman told court that Olushakin —a former branch manager with a second generation bank and now Chairman of LAC Autos & Spare Ltd.— alongside Akanbi, Adewale and others on the night of Friday, December 13, allegedly forcefully gained entrance into Global Signature Hotel in Ibadan by disarming the security men at the gate.

 

Usman stated that the suspects made forceful and unlawful entry into the hotel, went straight to the control room, destroyed the CCTV memory and cut off the CCTV machine.

 

“After vandalizing it, they went to the POS machine, took the machines of the company, went to the manager of the hotel, one Dare Akinola, at gunpoint took him to the cash registry to collect all the sales of the week including room sales, lodgment, bar & hall payment totalling over N2,140,000 (Two million, One hundred and forty thousand Naira).

 

“They went to all the rooms, rounded up all the customers, and forcefully asked them to transfer money into Olushakin’s personal account during the robbery.

 

“At gunpoint, they gathered everybody to the reception, laid them down at gunpoint and in fear of their lives, the customers made cash transfers to Olushakin’s accounts, they vandalized some other things, took the lodgment book, computers, and other equipment.”

 

The Chief Magistrate, Mrs. Giwa Babalola, ordered that the suspects should be remanded at the Agodi Correctional Center in Ibadan.

 

She adjourned the case till January 29, 2025 for further mention.

 

However, with Olushakin’s absence during the arraignment, the Oyo State Police Command has launched a manhunt for him with a bounty of N5 million placed on him to the public for anybody with useful information leading to arrest.

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Oyo Stampede: Ooni’s ex-wife Naomi Silekunola, others arrested as police confirm 35 minors dead.

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Oyo State Police Command has confirmed the arrest of organisers of the children’s funfair at Islamic High School, Basorun, Ibadan on Wednesday which resulted in a tragic stampede claiming the lives of 35 children.

 

In a statement released on Thursday, the command’s spokesperson, Osifeso Adewale, disclosed that Prophetess Naomi Silekunola, the main sponsor of the event and former wife of the Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi, has also been taken into custody.

 

 

Sequel to the Stampede incident recorded on Wednesday 18/12/2024 at the Islamic High School, Basorun, Ibadan venue of the family event Organized by Wings Foundation and Media partners Agidigbo Fm, the Oyo State Police Command wishes to inform the good people of the State that (8) Persons have since been arrested for their various involvements,” the statement said.

 

“These persons include the main event sponsor, Prophetess Naomi Silekunola ’f’ age 31yrs, Fasasi Abdulahi, ’m’ age 56yrs (School Principal Islamic High School, Ibadan), Genesis Christopher, ’m’ age 24yrs, Tanimowo Moruf,’m’ age 52yrs, Anisolaja Olabode, ‘m’ age 42yrs, Idowu Ibrahim, ‘m’ age 35yrs and Abiola Oluwatimilehin, ’m’ age 25yrs.

 

 

“So far (35) Thirty-Five Minors have been documented Dead while (6) Six others are critically injured and on various Medical Interventions.

 

 

In furtherance of the above, the case has since been transferred to the Homicide Section of the State Criminal Investigation Department, Iyaganku with the Deputy Commissioner of Police in charge leading the investigations.

 

 

“So also, residents around the axis are advised not to panic as they would witness high-level patrols and visible Police presence to prevent hoodlums from taking advantage of the unfortunate situation.”

 

The command said it sympathised with all the families of those affected by the tragedy and assured that justice would be served accordingly.

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Tinubu presents 2025 budget to National Assembly

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… PRESENTATION BY HIS EXCELLENCY, PRESIDENT BOLA AHMED TINUBU, GCFR   OF   THE 2025

BUDGET OF RESTORATION: SECURING PEACE, REBUILDING PROSPERITY   TO   A JOINT SESSION OF THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY ON WEDNESDAY 18TH DECEMBER, 2024

 

PROTOCOLS: — The Vice President, Senator Kashim Shettima — Senate President, Distinguished Senator Godswill Akpabio — Right Honourable Speaker, Tajudeen Abbas — National Chairman of our great party, Excellency, Abdullahi Umar Ganduje — State Governors here present — Distinguished Leaders and Members of the National Assembly — Senior Government Officials here present — Gentlemen of the press,   My Fellow Nigerians,

1. In fulfilment of one of my constitutional duties and with unyielding commitment to rebuilding Nigeria towards ensuring that we remain steadfast on the journey to a prosperous future, I hereby present the 2025 Budget to the Joint Session of the 10th National Assembly.

2. On this day, before this hallowed chamber, I present to you the 2025 Budget at a time when our country is at a crucial point in its development trajectory.

3. The 2025 Budget Proposal again reinforces our administration’s roadmap to secure peace, prosperity, and hope for a greater future for our beloved nation. This budget christened, “Budget of Restoration: Securing Peace, Rebuilding Prosperity,” strikes at the very core of our Renewed Hope Agenda and demonstrates our commitment to stabilizing the economy, improving lives, and repositioning our country for greater performance.

4. The journey of economic renewal and institutional development, which we began 18 months ago as a nation, is very much underway. It is not a journey of our choosing but one we had to embark on for Nigeria to have a real chance at greatness. I thank every Nigerian for embarking on this journey of REFORMS and TRANSFORMATION with us.

5. The road of reforms is now clearly upon us, and as the President of this blessed nation, I know this less-travelled road has not been easy. That there have been difficulties and sacrifices. They will not be in vain. And we must keep faith with the process to arrive at our collectively desired destination.

6. We must build on the progress we have made in the past eighteen months in restructuring our economy and ensuring it is strong enough to withstand the headwinds of any future shocks of the global downturn.

7. The 2025 budget that I present today is one of restoration. It seeks to consolidate the key policies we have instituted to restructure our economy, boost human capital development, increase the volume of trade and investments, bolster oil and gas production, get our manufacturing sector humming again and ultimately increase the competitiveness of our economy.

8. We do not intend to depart from this critical path to strengthen the Nigerian economy. Just as I believe in the resilience of our economy to withstand the current challenges, I also strongly believe in the resilience of the Nigerian people. Again, I summon the unstoppable Nigerian spirit to lead us on as we work to rebuild the fabric of our economy and existence.

9. The improvements we witnessed in the 2024 budget have led us into the 2025 budget. The goals of advancing national security, creating economic opportunities, investing in our youthful population, infrastructure development, and national re-orientation form the core of the 2025 budget. But more than that, this will lay a solid foundation for Nigeria’s future growth trajectory.

CURRENT ECONOMIC REALITIES AND PROGRESS

10. Distinguished Senate President, Right Honourable Speaker of the House of Representatives, leaders and members of both Chambers of the National Assembly, I report today that our economy is responding positively to stimulus. Our objective is to further stimulate the economy through the implementation of targeted fiscal stimulus packages through public expenditures and specific non-inflationary spending.

11. The reforms we have instituted are beginning to yield results. Nigerians will soon experience a better and more functional economy.

12. Global economic growth for the outgoing year 2024 was projected at 3.2 percent, and against predictions, our country made significant progress.   o Our economy grew by 3.46 percent in the third quarter of 2024, up from 2.54 percent in the third quarter of 2023.   o Our Foreign Reserves now stand at nearly 42 billion US dollars, providing a robust buffer against external shocks.   o Our rising exports are reflected in the current trade surplus, which now stands at 5.8 trillion naira, according to the National Bureau of Statistics.   13. These clear results of gradual recovery, among others, reflect the resilience of our economy and the impact of deliberate policy choices we made from the outset.   2024 BUDGET PERFORMANCE   14. I am happy to inform this National Assembly that our administration attained remarkable milestones in implementing the 2024 Budget. In 2024, we achieved:   o 14.55 trillion naira in revenue, meeting 75 percent of our target as of the third quarter.   o 21.60 trillion naira in expenditure, representing 85 percent of our target, also in the third quarter.   15. While challenges persist, we improved revenue collection and fulfilled key obligations. The transformational effects of this on our economy are gradually being felt.   PHILOSOPHY OF THE 2025 BUDGET   16. The 2025 Budget seeks to: o Restore macroeconomic stability.   o Enhance the business environment.   o Foster inclusive growth, employment, and poverty reduction.   o Promote equitable income distribution and human capital development.   17. Our budgetary allocations reflect the administration’s strategic priorities, especially in the implementation of the Renewed Hope Agenda and its developmental objectives.   2025 BUDGET OVERVIEW   18. The numbers for our 2025 budget proposal tell a bold and exciting story of the direction we are taking to retool and revamp the socio-economic fabric of our society.   o In 2025, we are targeting 34.82 trillion naira in revenue to fund the budget.   o Government expenditure in the same year is projected to be 47.90 trillion naira, including 15.81 trillion naira for debt servicing.   o A total of 13.08 trillion naira, or 3.89 percent of GDP, will make up the budget deficit.   19. This is an ambitious but necessary budget to secure our future.   20. The Budget projects inflation will decline from the current rate of 34.6 percent to 15 percent next year, while the exchange rate will improve from approximately 1,700 naira per US dollar to 1,500 naira, and a base crude oil production assumption of 2.06 million barrels per day (mbpd).   21. These projections are based on the following observations:   o Reduced importation of petroleum products alongside increased export of finished petroleum products.   o Bumper harvests, driven by enhanced security, reducing reliance on food imports.   o Increased foreign exchange inflows through Foreign Portfolio Investments.   o Higher crude oil output and exports, coupled with a substantial reduction in upstream oil and gas production costs.   KEY PRIORITIES: REBUILDING NIGERIA   22. Our budgetary allocations underscore this administration’s strategic priorities, particularly in advancing the Renewed Hope Agenda and achieving its developmental objectives.   23. Highlights of the 2025 Budget Allocations: • Defence and Security: N4.91 trillion • Infrastructure: N4.06 trillion • Health: N2.48 trillion • Education: N3.52 trillion   24. As we embark on implementing the 2025 Budget, our steps are deliberate, our decisions resolute, and our priorities are clear. This budget reflects a renewed commitment to strengthening the foundation of a robust economy, while addressing critical sectors essential for the growth and development we envision.   Securing Our Nation: 25. Security is the foundation of all progress. We have significantly increased funding for the military, paramilitary, and police forces to secure the nation, protect our borders, and consolidate government control over every inch of our national territory. The government will continue to provide our security forces with the modern tools and technology they need to keep us safe. Boosting the morale of our men and women in the armed forces will remain our government’s top priority.   26. The officers, men, and women of our Armed Forces and the Nigerian Police Force are the shields and protectors of our nation. Our administration will continue to empower them to defeat insurgency, banditry, and all threats to our sovereignty. Our people should never live in fear—whether on their farmlands, highways or cities. By restoring peace, we restore productivity, revive businesses, and rebuild our communities.   Infrastructure Development: 27. When we launched the Renewed Hope Infrastructure Development Fund, it was with the conviction that infrastructure remains the backbone of every thriving economy. Under this programme, we are accelerating investments in energy, transport, and public works. By leveraging private capital, we hope to complete key projects that drive growth and create jobs. We have already embarked on key legacy projects: Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway and Sokoto-Badagry Highway, which will have a huge impact on the lives of our people and accelerate economic output.   Human Capital Development: 28. Our people are our greatest resource. That is why we are making record investments in education, healthcare, and social services:   o Our administration has so far disbursed 34 billion naira to over 300,000 students via the Nigeria Education Loan Fund (NELFUND). In the 2025 Budget, we have made provision for 826.90 billion naira for infrastructure development in the educational sector. This provision also includes those for the Universal Basic Education (UBEC) and the nine new higher educational institutions.   o We are convinced that Universal Health Coverage initiatives will strengthen primary healthcare systems across Nigeria. In this way, we have allocated 402 billion naira for infrastructure investments in the health sector in the 2025 Budget and another 282.65 billion naira for the Basic Health Care Fund. Our hospitals will be revitalised with medication and better resources, ensuring quality care for all Nigerians. This is consistent with the Federal Government’s planned procurement of essential drugs for distribution to public healthcare facilities nationwide, improving healthcare access and reducing medical import dependency.   Revitalizing Agriculture: 29. Increasing agricultural production is central to our food security agenda, but insecurity has crippled this vital sector. We are supporting our farmers with funding and inputs to reignite productivity. Food security is non-negotiable. In this regard, we are taking bold steps to ensure that every Nigerian can feed conveniently, and none of our citizens will have to go to bed hungry.   30. Distinguished Senate President, Right Honourable Speaker of the House of Representatives, leaders and members of both Chambers of the National Assembly and fellow Nigerians, our 2025 budget proposal is not just another statement on projected government revenue and expenditures. It is one that calls for action. 31. Our nation faces existential threats from corruption and insecurity and suffers from many past poor choices. These challenges are surmountable when we work collaboratively to overcome them. We must rewrite the narrative of this nation together, with every leader, institution, and citizen playing their part.   32. The time for lamentation is over. This is a time to act. A time to support and promote greater investment in the private sector. A time for our civil servants to faithfully execute our policies and programmes. It is a time for every Nigerian to look hopefully towards a brighter future because a new day has dawned for us as a nation.   33. As your President, I remain committed and resolute to continue to lead the charge.   34. This 2025 budget proposal lays the foundation for peace, prosperity, and much needed hope. It is the plan through which a Nigeria where every citizen can dream, work, and thrive in safety can be achieved.   35. It is with great pleasure, therefore, that I lay before this distinguished Joint Session of the National Assembly the 2025 Budget of the Federal Government of Nigeria titled “The Restoration Budget: Securing Peace, Rebuilding Prosperity.   36. May God bless our Armed Forces and keep them safe. May God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.   Thank you.     Bola Ahmed Tinubu, GCFR President, Commander-in-Chief of The Armed Forces, Federal Republic of Nigeria

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