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Chronicles Of Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

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Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

 

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.

 

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and surrogate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

 

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowning glory of any respectable Nigerian family.

 

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

 

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

 

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

 

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

 

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.

 

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

 

By: Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

Society

Oniru confers chieftaincy titles on Smith, Idowu, Olorunnimbe, Akintoye others

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The Oniru of Iru-land, His Royal Majesty Oba Abdul-Wasiu Omogbolahan Lawal CON [Abisogun II] has announced the conferment of honourary chieftaincy titles on eminent and distinguished citizens of Nigeria.

 

The revered monarch unveiled the shortlist of recipients as part of activities to mark the fifth anniversary of his peaceful reign on the revered throne.

 

Among the esteemed honourees are Iya Oba of Iru Kingdom – Chief (Mrs) Basira Titilayo Smith, Aare Majeobaje of Iru Kingdom – Chief Adeyemi Idowu, Aare So’ludero ofIru Kingdom- Chief Muyiwa Gbadegesin, Ph.D and Erelu Asa of Iru Kingdom – Chief (Mrs) Bolane Austen-Peters, Aare Fiwagboye of Iru Kingdom – Chief Lukman Olayiwola Mustapha, Asoju Oba of Iru Kingdom- Chief Idris Ibikunle Olorunnimbe and Ajiroba ofIru-Kingdom- Chief Adegboyega Hakeem Akintoye.

 

While extending congratulations to the distinguished honourees on behalf of His Majesty and the Oniru-in-Council, High Chief Abayomi Daramola, Balogun of Iru-Land, in a statement revealed that the conferment of titles will be performed on 14th June, 2025 at the palace (Aafin Oba Oniru), Victoria Island, Lagos.

 

The statement read in part, “to mark the fifth-year anniversary of his ascension to the revered throne of his forebears as the 15th Oniru of Iru-land and after a rigorous selection process, His Royal Majesty Oba Abdul-Wasiu Omogbolahan Lawal CON [Abisogun II] – The Oniru of Iru-land upon the recommendation of the Oniru-in-Council, has issued a Royal Decree approving the conferment of respective honouray Chieftaincy titles on the underlisted eminent and distinguished citizens.”

 

 

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Society

‘Not My Property’ – Ex-Petroleum Minister, Diezani Exposes Owner Of Recovered $52.8 Million Loot

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Nigeria’s former Minister of Petroleum Resources, Diezani Alison-Madueke, has clarified that she is not connected to the $52.5 million that was recently brought back to the country from the United States of America (USA).

Society Reporters recalls that the federal government on Friday, January 10, announced the receipt of $52.88 million in recovered Galactica assets linked to the former Minister of Petroleum.

The Attorney-General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Lateef Fagbemi, announced the recovery during a formal signing ceremony of the asset return agreement in Abuja.

Fagbemi explained that $50 million of the recovered funds would be channelled through the World Bank for the development of rural electrification projects.

The remaining $2.88 million, he added, would be allocated to the International Institute of Justice to enhance the justice system and support anti-corruption initiatives.

However, in a statement issued on Sunday, Diezani, who has been residing in the United Kingdom (UK) since departing from Nigeria, asserted that the funds associated with her in the media as illicit gains actually belonged to Nigeria’s oil entrepreneur, Kola Aluko.

Finally responding to the alleged recovery through her attorney, Mike Ozekhome SAN, Diezani maintained that the term “Diezani Loot” is unfounded, as she had no involvement in the circumstances surrounding the forfeiture of the funds by its rightful owner.

Expressing her stance, the former minister stated that the $52.5 million originated from a vessel that was confiscated by the American authorities from Kola Aluko, which was subsequently sold, with the proceeds returned to the Nigerian federal government.

Her disavowal of ownership over the funds was detailed in an extensive press release issued on Sunday by the Chambers of Mike Ozekhome SAN, titled “There is no such thing as Diezani Loot.”

The statement reads: “My chambers makes this intervention in the public domain as Solicitors to Diezani Alison-Madueke (DAM) ,the former Minister of Petroleum Resources, HMPR.

“As her Solicitors, we are fully versed in and conversant with her present ordeal and the entire facts surrounding her matters both here in Nigeria and abroad. So, we write from the vantage position of one that is aware of the cocktail of lies that have been spurned around her cases in the last ten years.

“Many of the narratives are outrightly false; some others sheer outlandish speculations; and most, simply bizzare stories cooked up by her traducers to extract a Shylock’s pound of flesh from her for reasons she does not know and cannot even fathom.

“This intervention therefore seeks to correct this skewed narrative and set the records straight for purposes of history. Many Nigerians often talk about wanting ‘technocrats’ to be involved in governance. They desire that people with character and integrity should join politics.

“We agree with them. However and regrettably too, now and again and many a time, the same people not only allow, but actually join the bandwagon to mob-lynch those who chose to serve the nation.

“And we often do this insidiously, covertly and overtly, even when there is no concrete or even any iota of proof that such public officers ever abused their offices or stole from public coffers.

“It is therefore surprising and of great concern to us, to see the level of sustained vilification of an innocent Nigerian citizen who has not yet been tried and found guilty of any offence known to law by any court of law whether in Nigeria or abroad. The person at the receiving end is Citizen Diezani Alison-Madueke (DAM).”

Mischievous And Cruel
The statement from Ozekhome’s office described the earlier claims about the asset recovery as misinformation and defaming.

It said: “We note with concern the recent deliberate attempt to link her with what has been described as a civil forfeiture of a yacht Galactica, the sale of which was said to have yielded $52.8m to the US government; which sum has since been repatriated to Nigeria.

This is a clear example of the mischievous and cruel sport of tarnishing the image of the lady through a bouquet of consistent, persistent and unrelenting cocktail of falsehoods and misinformation.

“The purveyors of this line of misinformation term it “name-and-shame”. To sell the storyline, the architects ensured they attached Diezani’s name to a recovered yacht which is not in any way linked to her.

“They now falsely termed it “Diezani loot”. Nothing of the sort ever happened. She was never involved in the purchase, use and sale of the said yacht.

“The yacht Galactica, from information readily available in the public domain and in open sources, was purchased by Mr Kola Aluko who had used the vessel until he agreed to its forfeiture to the United States of America.

“The yacht Galactica was neither owned nor ever used by our client. DAM has in fact never set her eyes on the yacht. Kola Aluko is an experienced businessman who had been in business well before DAM came into office as HMPR.

“The only tenuous basis for deliberately linking DAM to the said yacht is the false narrative that the Strategic Alliance Agreements (SAAs) which were entered into between Kola Aluko & Jide Omokore’s Atlantic Energy companies and NNPC, were allegedly corruptly awarded to the said companies by DAM. DAM was not the GMD of the NNPC as so did not and could not have awarded the said contracts.

“We plead, as her lawyers, with all and sundry that she be accorded fair hearing and that the process of these UK court proceedings be allowed to take their natural course to avoid prejudice to her in the ongoing subjudice UK proceedings against her.

”Those purveyors and peddlers who habitually spin these outrightly false, unfounded, defamatory, unintelligent and indefensible narratives to denigrate and humiliate her should please find better use of their time and leave DAM alone.

“Let the law take its natural course without interference. We humbly pray.”

 

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Society

Bisi Onasanya, ex FirstBank MD flees Nigeria to Ghana as EFCC closes in……

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Bisi Onasanya, the embattled former Managing Director of FirstBank has followed in the steps of Oba Otudeko, the former chairman of FBN Holdings and fled the country.
Onasanya who is expected to appear at the Federal High Court in Lagos on Monday January 20 to answer to the charges brought against him by anti-graft agency, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, may likely be absent in court as he is currently holed up in Ghana in hiding.

He was spotted at Movenpick Hotel in Accra where he checked in at exactly 8 am on Friday morning.

Society Reporters had earlier reported that Onasanya will be arraigned before Justice Chukwujekwu Aneke for looting over N12.3 billion.

He will be arraigned alongside Otudeko, also the chairman of Honeywell Group who is equally on the run, as well as two others, a former board member of Honeywell Group, Soji Akintayo and a firm, Anchorage Leisure Limited connected to Otudeko.

The quartet committed fraud in tranches of N5.2 billion, N6.2 billion, N6.150 billion, N1.5 billion and N500 million, N6.2 billion and N2.09 billion between 2013 and 2014 in Lagos.

The 13-count charge, filed by EFCC counsel Bilikisu Buhari on January 16, 2025, further claimed that the defendants made and uttered forged documents to deceive the bank.

Specifically, count 1 accused the defendants of conspiring “to obtain the sum of N12.3 billion from FirstBank Limited on the pretence that the said sum represented credit facilities applied for by V-TECH DYNAMIC LINKS LIMITED and Stallion Nigeria Limited, which representation you know to be false.”

In Count 2, it was alleged that the defendants, on or about the 26th day of November 2013 in Lagos, “obtained the sum of N5.2 Billion from FirstBank Limited on the pretence that the said sum represented credit facilities applied for by V TECH DYNAMIC LINKS LIMITED which representation you know to be false.”

The 3rd count claimed that the defendants, between 2013 and 2014 in Lagos, obtained N6.2 Billion from FirstBank Limited on the pretence that the said sum represented credit facilities applied for and disbursed to Stallion Nigeria Limited, which representation you know to be false.”

In the 4th count, they were accused of conspiring to spend the N6,15 billion, out of the monies.

According to the Commission, the offences contravened Section 8(a) of the Advance Fee Fraud and Other Fraud Related Offences Act 2006 and are punishable under Section 1(3) of the same Act.

Counts 5 and 6 read: “That you, CHIEF OBA OTUDEKO, STEPHEN OLABISI ONASANYA, SOJI AKINTAYO AND ANCHORAGE LEISURE LIMITED on or about 11th day of December 2013 in Lagos, procured Honeywell Flour Mills Plc to retain the sum of N1,5 Billion, which sum you reasonably ought to have known forms part of proceeds of your unlawful activities to wit: Obtaining by False Pretense and you thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 18(c), 15 (2) (d) of the Money Laundering (Prohibition) Act, 2011 (as amended) and punishable under Section 15(3) of the same Act.

“That you, CHIEF OBA OTUDEKO, STEPHEN OLABISI ONASANYA, SOJI AKINTAYO, AND ANCHORAGE LEISURE LIMITED on or about the 17th day of December 2013 in Lagos, converted to the use of Honeywell Flour Mills Plc the sum of N500 million only which sum you reasonably ought to have known forms part of proceeds of your unlawful activities to wit: Obtaining by False Pretense and you thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 15(2 (b)) of the Money Laundering (Prohibition) Act, 2011 (as amended) and punishable under Section 15(3) of the same Act.”

“That you, CHIEF OBA OTUDEKO, STEPHEN OLABISI ONASANYA, SOJI AKINTAYO, AND ANCHORAGE LEISURE LIMITED on or about the 17th day of December 2013 in Lagos, converted to the use of Honeywell Flour Mills Plc the sum of N500 million only which sum you reasonably ought to have known forms part of proceeds of your unlawful activities to wit: Obtaining by False Pretense and you thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 15(2 (b)) of the Money Laundering (Prohibition) Act, 2011 (as amended) and punishable under Section 15(3) of the same Act.”

The Street Journal

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