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Chronicles Of Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives

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Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.

 

The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.

 

We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and surrogate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.

 

This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowning glory of any respectable Nigerian family.

 

Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

 

How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.

 

These men — especially if married to White women — feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!

 

Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.

 

When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.

 

Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!

 

By: Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

Society

Alleged Tax Fraud: Dapo Abiodun’s ex-Aide Abidemi Rufai Released From US Prison..

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Former aide to Prince Dapo Abiodun, Governor of Ogun State, Abidemi Rufai, has been released from prison in the United States.

Rufai, 47, was released from the U.S. Bureau of Prisons’ custody in Fort Dix, New Jersey, on November 15, 2024,

Correctional documents from the prison confirmed the story.

The convicted felon, would now ready himself for deportation from the U.S. as stipulated in his guilty plea. His Nigerian passport was returned to him on October 21, 2024, after he filed a motion to reduce his sentencing.

When he pleaded guilty to allegations of tax fraud and aggravated identity theft in 2022, Rufai waived his rights to challenge deportation after serving out his jail sentence.

He was sentenced to 60 months in prison on two counts of fraud in 2022 after prosecutors presented a strong case of multimillion-dollar fraud backed with 100,000 pages of evidence before a federal judge in Tacoma, Washington. The terms were scheduled to run concurrently.

Rufai, widely known as Elele Ruffy, was scheduled to be released on Valentine’s Day in 2025 but a judge approved his motion to be released earlier based on new sentencing guidelines, and the U.S. Bureau of Prisons forwent the three months left of his sentence.

He was ordered to pay $607,000 in restitution to the U.S. government agencies across multiple states, and a Nigerian court ordered the seizure of his Lekki mansion in Lagos and bank accounts after the anti-graft office EFCC filed fraud charges against him.

Rufai was widely known as a notorious Internet fraud ringleader in Lagos and Ogun for many years before he extended his fraudulent operations to the U.S., where he got nabbed.

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How Sambo Dasuki Allegedly Acquired Multi-Million Dollars U.S. Luxury Real Estate. – Washington Posts Report

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More facts have emerged on how

former National Security Adviser Sambo Dasuki, invested millions of dollars in American luxury real estate.

 

A new report released by the Platform to Protect Whistleblowers in Africa (PPLAAF) uncovered this.

 

Dasuki was previously charged with diverting billions of Naira meant for the fight against Boko Haram insurgents during former President Goodluck Jonathan’s administration.

 

The PPLAAF report stated that tens of millions allegedly misappropriated by Dasuki ended up funding luxury properties in Los Angeles, California, and McLean, Virginia, a wealthy suburb of Washington, DC.

 

 

PPLAAF stated that it examined thousands of pages of property deeds, corporate filings, bank records, and court documents from both Nigeria and the U.S., tracing funds to high-end properties purchased by Dasuki’s close associates, Robert and Mimie Oshodin.

 

The report stated that records indicate that the Oshodins received at least $27 million from Dasuki’s office and invested similar sums in U.S. real estate.

 

“Our investigation shows how the fight for accountability in Nigeria is undermined when nations like the U.S. ignore corruption. It’s a grave issue when those entrusted to protect citizens siphon public money for personal luxury,” stated Jimmy Kande, PPLAAF’s West Africa Director.

 

“The U.S. can and should do more, both morally and legally,” Kande added.

 

 

Recall that in 2018 under former President Muhammadu Buhari, Nigerian authorities alerted the U.S. Department of Justice about the allegations involving Dasuki and the Oshodins, urging them to track the money trail. Despite this, the Oshodins continued to acquire and sell properties.

 

Lanre Suraj of the Human and Environmental Development Agenda (HEDA), expressed outrage saying, “It’s sickening that funds meant to fight terrorism and protect Nigerians were diverted for the opulent lifestyles of a few.

 

“This investigation should urge Nigeria and the U.S. to recover these assets for the Nigerian people.”

 

Dasuki, appointed National Security Adviser in 2012 under then-president Goodluck Jonathan, was tasked with coordinating the response to Boko Haram’s insurgency, which caused widespread violence and displacement in Nigeria and neighboring countries.

 

 

Nigerian authorities allege that through fake procurement deals and dubious contracts, Dasuki embezzled over $2 billion intended for the anti-terrorism campaign.

 

After Muhammadu Buhari took office in 2015, Dasuki was dismissed and later arrested in connection with the scandal, often called “Dasukigate.”

 

As part of its investigation, PPLAAF said it identified multiple assets linked to the Dasukigate scandal.

 

Soon after Dasuki’s 2012 appointment, he began transferring large sums to the Oshodins, who were acting as legal guardians to two of his children in the U.S. During this period, the couple invested around $24 million in U.S. real estate, often coinciding with transfers from Dasuki’s office.

 

The largest transaction was the purchase of a $9.5 million Los Angeles mansion on the same day Dasuki’s office transferred $12 million to the Oshodins’ furniture business in Nigeria.

 

 

Court filings obtained by PPLAAF indicate that the Oshodins stored tens of millions in jewelry, including a ring valued at over $3 million, along with expensive furnishings and antiquities, in their Los Angeles mansion.

 

Although the Nigerian authorities informed the U.S. of the allegations in 2018, the Oshodins continued their real estate dealings and still own properties valued at $20 million in Los Angeles and McLean.

 

Nigeria’s investigation into the Oshodins suggests serious gaps in U.S. oversight of illicit financial flows in real estate.

 

Recently, the U.S. has strengthened measures to curb such flows, requiring investment advisers and real estate professionals to report all cash purchases by companies and trusts.

 

 

However, Nigeria continues to face challenges in recovering assets and prosecuting cases tied to Dasukigate, with persistent coordination and judicial delays. The Dasukigate scandal remains a critical test of Nigeria’s commitment to combat corruption.

 

Meanwhile, a stately mansion worth $2.8 million in McLean, Virginia, has become the subject of intrigue after reports connected its owner to a sprawling corruption scandal involving Nigeria’s former national security adviser.

 

The luxurious property, nestled at the end of a private drive and featuring amenities like a climate-controlled wine cellar, sauna, and four fireplaces, seemed to blend seamlessly with the wealth of the Washington, D.C., suburbs — until questions arose about its elusive owner.

 

 

Neighbors recall that the man, who introduced himself briefly upon purchasing the home, quickly vanished, leaving the grand, nine-foot carved-wood doors tightly shut, The Washington Post reports following the report of a fresh investigation shared with it by the Platform to Protect Whistleblowers in Africa (PPLAAF).

 

Within this upscale McLean neighborhood, called The Ridings, properties are typically owned by successful professionals, including a plastic surgeon, a corporate lawyer, and the CEO of a defense consulting firm, according to local property records.

 

Yet the man’s sudden disappearance left some neighbors wondering what was happening within the grand residence.

 

 

According to Nigerian court filings, the mansion’s owner, a family friend of Nigeria’s former national security adviser, is alleged to have been involved in laundering funds misappropriated from the Nigerian government.

 

The country’s authorities accuse the former security adviser of siphoning off over $2 billion, a portion of which was allegedly routed to the mansion’s owner.

 

U.S. properties — like the McLean mansion and other high-end residences — are suspected to be among the assets purchased to launder the misappropriated funds.

 

Further deepening the intrigue, the owner of the McLean property was also linked to a separate incident involving an insurance claim for jewelry theft from another luxurious property near Beverly Hills, California.

 

 

The combined allegations have painted a complex portrait of wealth and scandal, connecting the quiet Virginia neighborhood to an international web of alleged financial crime.

 

The Washington Post reports that the allegations against him highlight a growing global concern: the U.S. real estate market has become a refuge for corrupt officials and criminals worldwide to hide illicit funds through opaque shell companies.

 

Next year, the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network at the U.S. Treasury Department will implement a new rule that mandates title companies and other parties to gather information on specific real estate sales, focusing on transactions where the buyer is a trust or another legal entity that pays in cash.

 

“With many American neighborhoods facing affordable housing crises, stopping dirty money from entering the residential real estate market is more crucial than ever,” said Bradley T. Smith, the Treasury Department’s acting undersecretary for terrorism and financial intelligence, in a statement to The Washington Post.

 

 

In reporting this story, The Washington Post received court documents, property records, and analyses from the Platform to Protect Whistleblowers in Africa, a Paris-based anticorruption group.

 

The Premium Times, a Nigerian news organization, was also involved in a broader investigation into real estate money laundering. The Post verified and supplemented the information independently.

 

To a visitor, the quiet McLean cul-de-sac would appear ordinary, with its private drive, manicured lawns, and neatly trimmed rosebushes. But behind its doors, Nigerian law enforcement officials allege, lies a story of embezzlement, corruption, and global money laundering.

 

In 2014, in the northeastern town of Chibok in Nigeria, terrorists known as Boko Haram stormed a boarding school and abducted 276 schoolgirls.

 

The incident sparked the global #BringBackOurGirls movement, supported by Reese Witherspoon, Michelle Obama, and Pope Francis.

 

 

Meanwhile, the kidnapping drew international attention to Boko Haram, an insurgency using violent tactics to impose strict Islamic law across Nigerian society.

 

Bob Oshodin, an 83-year-old entrepreneur, developed his carpentry skills at a young age in Nigeria, as stated in his bio on the archived website of his furniture manufacturing company, Bob Oshodin Organization Limited.

 

Interestingly, Oshodin formed a lasting bond with Sambo Dasuki, and their friendship spans decades. According to Oshodin’s wife, Mimie, the two became close friends after meeting while living in the United States for extended periods.

 

The families were close enough that the Oshodins agreed to look after two of Dasuki’s children, then teenagers, who were attending school in the United States while Dasuki served as Nigeria’s national security adviser.

 

 

It was also during this time, Nigerian officials alleged, that Dasuki illegally transferred tens of millions

of dollars’ worth of Nigerian and U.S. currency from state funds to the Oshodins’ furniture company.

 

 

 

 

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Bashir Adewale Adeniyi: adeptly navigating customs complexities with commitment and proficiency

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By Oladapo Sofowora

 

Whether admired or criticized, Comptroller General of Customs, Bashir Adewale Adeniyi MFR, is unwavering in his mission to transform the Nigeria Customs Service. His primary focus is to safeguard the nation’s borders against economic sabotage while boosting revenue and facilitating seamless trade relations between importers and exporters, ultimately fostering economic growth and stability for Nigeria.

 

Since his appointment by President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s administration last year, Bashir has utilized his exceptional acumen and strategic insight to elevate this crucial law enforcement agency. Many initially doubted his ability to succeed, but he is decisively silencing his critics with impressive outcomes that have solidified the customs agency as one of the largest revenue-generating bodies in the country, channelling trillions of Naira into government coffers annually and enhancing trade facilitation.

 

Adeniyi, often dubbed the “new sheriff in town,” is unyielding in his approach, having made it clear to those who previously exploited systemic weaknesses that their days of advantage are numbered. A natural team player, he leads not from behind a desk but from the forefront, diligently ensuring that every loophole is sealed. Those who have profited at the country’s expense feel the consequences, as Adeniyi pursues them relentlessly.

 

He believes that for the customs service to function optimally, it must not only focus on revenue generation but also strive to portray Nigeria positively on the global stage. To that end, he has streamlined the cargo release and evaluation processes through cutting-edge technology, significantly reducing the bureaucratic red tape that plagued the service. While his reforms have drawn ire from some quarters, he remains undeterred. Adeniyi has equipped all commands and zones, preparing them to combat both internal and external corruption. Smugglers, in particular, now view him as a formidable obstacle.

 

In a resolute effort to protect Nigeria’s agricultural sector, Adeniyi has strategically assigned capable personnel to the nation’s borders, issuing a stringent directive that anyone attempting to undermine the Nigerian economy is seen as an enemy and will face no leniency. This has resulted in tighter border security and has enabled local producers to flourish, attracting increased investment in vital sectors, especially agriculture. Internally, CGC Adewale is effecting a groundbreaking reform of the customs workforce by emphasizing professionalism and ethical standards. He has initiated extensive training programs focused on customs law, risk assessment, and technology, aiming to cultivate a skilled workforce equipped to tackle contemporary customs challenges.

 

His unwavering stance against corruption, coupled with a strong emphasis on accountability, seeks to restore public confidence in the Nigeria Customs Service. By fostering a culture steeped in ethics, CGC Adewale aspires to elevate the agency into one that commands respect for its integrity and fairness. Adeniyi also recognizes the significance of collaboration; thus, he actively partners with other agencies to forge a synergistic relationship, sharing intelligence that effectively combats smuggling and enhances the interception of illegal goods. The agency has recently reported seizures worth billions while intercepting arms and ammunition, marking a significant turn in fortunes as he strives to solidify the Customs’ reputation as a reputable agency, reversing the negative narrative that has long surrounded it.

 

Under his stewardship, he has prioritized the welfare of staff, the development of women, and the motivation of officers, fostering a dedicated workforce eager to protect the nation from economic sabotage. Significant seizures from petroleum products to endangered species parts, such as pangolin scales, donkey skins, and elephant tusks, alongside smuggled vehicles, have underscored Adeniyi’s commitment to elevating the agency above others. The digitalization of key customs processes has made trade more efficient, decreasing unnecessary human interaction to minimize corruption.

 

Despite the considerable challenges faced, during Adeniyi’s tenure, Customs has remarkably generated an impressive N5,079,455,088,194.38, exceeding the 2024 target of N5 trillion. As part of ongoing reform measures, six beneficiaries of the Authorized Economic Operators (AEO) program have been selected, with an additional 21 requests processed under an advance ruling initiative designed to expedite customs decision-making on import and export cargoes before they arrive at the ports. Adeniyi’s significant strides, alongside streamlined cargo alerts, have begun to reshuffle the customs landscape in Nigeria, introducing hope and renewed purpose to this vital service.

 

Beyond the realm of security, the collaborative efforts extend into vital economic initiatives such as the African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA). This ambitious project aims to create a cohesive market across the continent, fostering seamless trade among African nations. Adewale’s significant involvement in the development of AfCFTA-related policies highlights his unwavering commitment to transforming the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) into an agency that not only facilitates economic integration but also harmonizes customs standards across Africa.

 

This harmonization is crucial for streamlining trade flows and unlocking a plethora of economic opportunities. Despite facing fierce opposition and deliberate campaigns aimed at undermining his reputation, Adeniyi has remained resolute, undeterred by the negative tactics employed by his detractors. He continues to focus on his responsibilities with diligence and integrity. While some have resorted to disparagement, Adeniyi has made sizable advancements toward realizing his ambitious vision of elevating the customs service to an esteemed position on a global scale.

 

This commitment to progress is exemplified through the ongoing Comptroller of Customs conference, aptly themed “Nigeria Customs Service: Engaging Traditional and New Partners with Purpose.” This conference, which had been previously halted for several years, has been revived since Adeniyi took the helm, offering the NCS a platform to engage in meaningful discussions. It serves as an opportunity to reassess strategies, ensuring the agency remains afloat and true to its potential in enhancing trade facilitation while also safeguarding our local economy.

 

True to the adage that the reward for a job well done is more work, Adeniyi is prepared to meet the challenges head-on, ready to deliver exceptional results regardless of the circumstances. The Nigeria Customs Service has never experienced such a level of organization and efficiency since its inception, earning it recognition as one of the most structured agencies in Nigeria today. This achievement is a testament to Adeniyi’s dedication and commitment to promoting excellence and prosperity within the service.

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